I put on my glasses, put a pillow behind my back. This screen is my virtual white sheet of paper. My mind whispers to my hand the spelling of the words. I write having the sense of the keyboard on the tip of my fingers. I write with both of my hands. My thought is being spelled down, I play it on this different piano. Why have I been feeling the need to get back to my pen and book? When do I have a better touch of my written down words, the words that are a part of me? Is it the temperature of the sheet of paper? Is it my handwriting that makes it more real, I mean more physical? Sometimes I would urgently write with my hands wet, the paper absorbed the drops, the ink would go dispersed in some free patterns, like a river or the rain. I would see my thought then change, quite out of hand. Then, I would stuff the paper into the special drawer. Is it the thought that what I wrote now has a place? It takes some place, it is this big, this small, it ages, it may be unreadable, someday it will be gone, not shaved on a hard disk's memory or deleted by a bygone flaw? Is it about duration? Is it about imperfection? What makes the printed version different, I wonder. Sometimes I would write with my eyes shut- that helped me hear myself clearlier, helped me concentrate. Is it about control? If I now place my hands a bit on the right, no meaning will be held in those distorted made languages. Is it about consciousness? Every now and then I now click and order 'save'. When I make a new word, it shines, it gets alone in its context. Is it about mistakes? Is it about my freedom? Is it about surprise?